Got called “faggot” by an urban street-tough on the subway the other day. His foot was in the middle of the aisle and I stepped on it getting up to offer my seat to an older woman. “Excuse me, faggot” he said, all bad-ass and hard-boiled. I had earphones in and I don’t think he figured I’d heard him. I gave him zero consideration until I sat down again in the middle of the car and started thinking on it. Then I got an inexplicable urge to see his face; to find out what he looked like. I’d only been mildly aware of him previously, listening to him spit out threatening expletives at his video game. I got up and walked over to where he’d been but he was gone .. the entire incident filed away in the drawers of civic minutia.
Not sure what I might have done. Nothing about it felt particularly threatening but I likely underestimate my age and inability to take care of myself. New York isn’t the city it once was but it isn’t Mayberry either. Mostly I was curious about his choice of epithet. ‘Faggot’ seemed particularly weak in light of other potential slurs. ‘Grandpa’, ‘Slacker’, ‘Yankee Fan’ and ‘Facebook Over-Poster’ all would’ve done the trick. Later, near Union Square, I stopped to sign a petition for gay rights. I support the cause but am typically too up in my head to address someone with a clipboard. Not that it was a noble gesture and means of evening the score with my subway friend. “Zing – take that young urban street tough!” But I allowed myself to feel that way momentarily while ignoring my Bernie Goetz scene revisitation. These days I’ll accept false credit for things even if constructed entirely within the parameters of my own head. It’s a small perk in exchange for the endless shit I beat myself up over.
***
Been watching “Boardwalk Empire”, catching up with past seasons. It’s above average but falls back on stylistic devices, graphic violence, and attractive, naked women with Zelda Fitzgerald hairstyles. Granted, this has kept me watching. Steve Buscemi is a good leading man; believable both as a Sad Sack loner and powerful gangster kingpin. He’s proof that one needn’t be physically imposing nor handsome to possess commanding screen presence. ‘Handsome’ occasionally seems something of a handicap in terms of sustaining superior episodic drama. It worked for Jon Hamm in the early seasons of “Mad Men” but now, as we delve deeper into Don Draper’s psyche via innumerable flashback sequences, it’s become more difficult to remember why we care. Sure, this guy looks great in a suit and he gets laid a lot. But now we’re expected to have empathy because this doesn’t provide him with the answers to life’s mysteries? Have another Canadian Club and watch January Jones take her clothes off. I prefer to watch Buscemi, alone in his study with an uncomfortable collar, wool suit, and that Bugs Bunny mug reflecting the pain of a thousand disappointments. Both shows romanticize eras when smoking and drinking were acceptable day-long indulgences. There’s the occasional nod to high blood pressure and cirrhosis of the liver, but it’s really about how cool everyone looks in tailored vests with Lucky Strikes and whiskey tumblers.
***
I’ve been looking at Oregon real estate, albeit from a great distance and via the Internet. It’s a long-shot but so are most things at one time, including those that come to fruition. I wanted to see what one gets for the price he pays for a six hundred square foot, junior one bedroom apartment in New York. The results were eye opening: 2000 square feet, ocean-front property, multiple bedrooms, separate studio and guest house, etc. But the town I was scoping has a population of six thousand, many of them retirees. It isn’t the kind of place where you can walk down the block and grab a calzone. On the other hand, there’s no subway and more distance between you and the guy calling you ‘faggot.’ I figure they just burn it on your lawn or carve it in to a tree. And you can have a dog and a bar b cue. It’s a nice thought anyway, and something on which to conclude this exercise in three-dot meandering.
Post a Comment