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Liberty

While I’m at this photo-posting bit, here’s one of the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor, as seen from my roof this past weekend. It seems an appropriate image, on the cusp of the upcoming holiday.  I looked the word “liberty” up, and among various definitions my favorite was “freedom from arbitrary or despotic control.” This may be easier defined than reached, and those believing they’ve achieved it may simply be more adept at self-delusion. And yet, despite my innate cynicism, I’ll still make an argument for this country. In one of my favorite films, The Verdict , Paul Newman makes a great summation speech (penned by David Mamet) to the jury. He tells them that the lawyers, the marble statues, and the books are all just “trappings of the court” and “symbols of our desire to be just.”  “They are, in fact, a prayer : a fervent and frightened prayer.

This is also the way I see the of the Statue of Liberty, and have imagined what it represented to my great grandfather and the thousands like him who continue to pass through this harbor. It’s not about some imaginary Land of Milk and Honey, but  simply about having a shot . I’ve been born in to much good fortune and probably shouldn’t even be allowed such a fat-headed observation.  But I could expound some on the likelihood of being “free from arbitrary or despotic control,” even after other basic needs are covered. Despite such insight, it’s probably a good thing that I’m not running the show. There’s something not so euphonious about a July Fourth celebration with overhead images of the Statue of Having a Shot in the New York Harbor.

New York Sunset

A neighbor watches the sunset following a particularly intense thunder and lightning storm.

Three The Hard Way

Quite a day for celebrity deaths, yesterday. Farrah Fawcett checked out, followed closely behind by Michael Jackson. Soon after this news, a rumor circulated that the actor Jeff Goldblum had bought the farm as well, but this proved false. This was good news, both for Goldblum and advocates of the theory that show business deaths always come in threes. (Johnny Carson side-kick Ed McMahon had died earlier in the week, starting the first leg of the trilogy.) Bumping things up to a quartet would have put added strain on an already-faltering star system and caused guys like Wilfred Brimley great distress, having to wait an extra few days for the other shoe to drop. Of course, an argument can still be made for the four theory with the death of David Carradine, but it really just points to the depressingly rudimentary fact that we’re all dying.

Jackson and Fawcett offered  a marked contrast on the subject of how to grow old gracefully. Farrah was a natural beauty to the end, and maintained a more weathered but none the less beautiful appearance in to her later years. She stood in defiance of the tightly-pulled, over-moisturized, Nancy Pelosi Botoxed route, inexplicably favored by many women today. And Mike .. well, he was just Mike. If you’re going to go down that road you might as well see what the ride can do. Jackson’s appearance in recent years made Siegfried and Roy look like the Nature Twins.

These deaths also helped me gain a better grip on this whole Twitter phenomenon. Having halted my social networking prowess with email, I’ve been out of the Myspace and Facebook loops and struggled to understand how Twitter differed from either. I now see that it serves the specific function of being the first indicator of celebrity demise. Being online at the time of Jackson’s death, I noticed that the news was being “Twittered” well before Drudge picked up the headline and a full hour before the AP and Los Angeles Times. I’m not certain, but I don’t think users of this service are subjected to a particularly vigorous verification process. And I’d lay odds that, like me, Jeff Goldblum is catching on to all of this fast.

On The Beach

well this is no New York street
and there’s no bobby on the beat
and things ain’t just what they seem

-Van Morrison

There’s a lineup of old black dudes displaying their wares on long collapsible tables on the sidewalk beside the West Fourth Street subway exit in the Village. Old vinyl LPs and audio cassettes, tattered porno mags, and sticky VHS video tapes. It’s hard to imagine anyone partaking in these goods, save the stray Isaac Hayes or Con Funk Shun record, in broad daylight. One Fred Sanford crony looks oddly misplaced, but I’m unable to put my finger on it. Something about the near-mint condition #8 Steve Young 49ers Jersey he’s wearing as he hovers over an unclaimed copy of Teen Sprinklers makes my head spin.

Sometimes I just get dizzy like that, if I stand up too quickly or give the world any in-depth consideration. It may be linked to when I was a  little kid and would black out if I got frightened or started crying too hard and couldn’t catch my breath. It was an oddly pleasant experience, but frequently scared the hell out of the gathered adults. It happened once when I was five up at a Lake Tahoe beach. An older fat kid named Butch with thick frame glasses dumped a bucket of icy lake water on my head and I went down like Trevor Berbick reconsidering his decision to get in the ring with the twenty year-old Mike Tyson. I then observed from a warm, fuzzy and horizontal shore-side perspective as Butch’s dad boxed his ears something fierce. It’s amazing the things one can influence, or even control, from the inside looking out.

Of course it was only a momentary sensation on West Fourth, and had I gone full-cement the result would have likely been casual disregard and an eventual EMT escort. This ain’t no Tahoe beach, and I don’t warrant the concern #8 would gather, should a like fate fall upon him. He’s here every week, smoke in hand. An integral, revolving gear in this tested communal gathering. And I’m just passing by, an eternal outsider taking occasional notes on the parade.

Hi-ya

walk away from trouble if you can
-
Kenny Rogers

So David Carradine is dead, possibly (but not definitively) the result of auto-erotic asphyxiation. At least there’s still one off-color habit in which I’ve yet to indulge. Thai police, who found Carradine in his Bangkok hotel, said that he had cords around both his neck and genitals. This doesn’t necessarily point to sexual hi-jinx, and could just be a final symbolic nod toward that which accounted for most of his problems in life. Who knows?

My memories of Carradine revolve primarily around grainy, color re-runs from my youth where he’s being called “chinaman” by a posse of unshaven, slothful shit-kickers. Then things would get blurry and revert back to an earlier, clean-headed era, with some old, glaucoma-ridden dude telling him that the path to enlightenment made no pause for violence. Inevitably, and due to circumstances largely beyond his control, he’d beat the living crap out of these guys anyway. It never really mattered what the old dude had to tell him. This theme of walking softly but ultimately using one’s big stick is present in many narrative forms. It fueled all the Buford Pusser “Walking Tall” films and provided the final kick for Kenny Roger’s epic song “Coward of the County” (which in turn inspired a made for TV film of the same name.) The lesson here seems to be that, as much as we love a well-crafted dissertation on the virtues of pacifism, it never really clears the pores like a good skull-cracking. Perhaps the same can be said of auto-erotic asphyxiation, although running this proof beyond conjecture implies paying the ultimate price and there’s never anyone to write it up after.

Rest in peace, Grasshopper.

Born In Time Out Of Mind

askin’ the cops wherever I go
“have you seen dignity?”
-  Bob Dylan

Thankfully, there are no time tables for musical appreciation.  Somewhere, over the last five years, I became a big Bob Dylan fan. I realize, of course, that I’m not the first to lay mad accolades on the dude. I’d listened to Blonde on Blonde and revisited Highway 61 plenty of times in the past. But something in his last three releases - Modern Times, Together Through Life and the bootleg compilation Tell Tale Signs in between - hit me like a one/two combination and a knock-out punch. The way he comes back repeatedly to his muse, unconsciously rehashing the old in new light, is truly inspired. Reading various reviews on his performances and articles on his life has left me with the distinct impression that most who try to encompass or critique the guy end up far off some undetermined mark. Even the most recent release, Together, contained deceptive appeal for me. I agreed with my buddy Mark (the most ardent Dylan fan I’ve known over the last twenty years) that it fell short when it first came out. And then a few days later it was playing in the background and I had to check myself and first reaction. Even if they’d all been clunkers, the last three, and I’d agreed with those who painted the Brooklyn show I saw last summer with a disappointing shade of brown, it wouldn’t subtract from the sheer, persistent and unwavering output, energy, and wanderlust that the 68 year old performer continues to exude. As someone else close to me noted recently, “clearly, he’s insane.

Which is an appropriately long way of getting around to Dignity. I’m about as well-suited to define it as I am to write about Dylan. But the older I get, the more I realize that it’s an elusive concept. It’s different from Respect, which Aretha Franklin so famously demanded be given to her when she got home. Dignity isn’t something you can demand, take, or even earn. I’d become fearful for a while that time inevitably strips you of it, but even this proved too simplistic an estimation. You can’t be stripped of dignity - not if you ever really had it. I’ve probably been guilty at times of attempting to tap into another’s reserve, and I’m sure that it’s affected whatever small stockpile I had going myself.  Shame can’t touch dignity either, whether it’s self-generated or dished upon you by others. It’s a poor second-cousin; like comparing Mantle to Mays. They may get mentioned in the same books, but at the end of the day it’s a different chapter. This weak attempt to get at it feels slightly undignified itself, so I’ll cease and end obscurely on Bob.

on the rising curve
where the ways of nature will test every nerve
I took you close and got what I deserve
when we were born in time

Notes On A Ballgame

I was out at AT&T Part in San Francisco yesterday watching the Giants take on the Mets - the first West Coast game I’ve attended in over a year. The currently great Johan Santana was facing the once untouchable Randy Johnson. This, along with untypically warm San Francisco weather and a chance to sit in some exceptionally good seats seemed reason enough to make the effort. While my interest in Giants baseball has waned in recent years, I’m at least able to follow an entire game from start to finish. This tapered enthusiasm certainly trumps any appeal that baseball holds for me on the East Coast. While I still enjoy the ambient summer pleasures of the Mets and Yankees buzzing in the background, my specific interest in CC Sabathia’s ERA or Carlos Beltran’s opposite-field power ranks right up there with my attachment to the current front-runners on American Idol. Maybe it’s an age thing but I don’t have it in me to follow more than one franchise with any specific interest. (Although I’m still eternally grateful to baseball for the sacred place it serves in filling the gaps in otherwise awkward small talk and unavoidably banal social interaction.)

Having attended games at both Citi Field and AT&T Park only weeks apart, I can state with some confidence that the Giants’ ballpark has it over the Mets’ new home in every respect except the quality of the product on the field, and the unavailability of any beer - domestic or imported - for less than eight dollars and seventy-five cents. While the Mets have made a valiant attempt at laying Shea Stadium to rest, the fact that their new home is only a stone’s throw from the old one is an inescapable drawback. Nothing about Flushing can compare to San Francisco’s waterfront location, not even the abundant discount muffler retailers and chop shops on one side of the new stadium. And the food at AT&T is clearly superior. While there’s been some buzz about the “Shake Shack” burger stand behind the Citi Field scoreboard, their product falls far short of West Coast garlic fries. Both games that I attended at respective venues featured exceptionally warm weather, but San Francisco did offer some late inning relief in the form of a welcome breeze coming off the Bay. These benefits, while arguably superficial, still add up. There isn’t much about munching an average burger under stifling Queens temperatures and watching a pedestrian Mets-Nationals showdown that will keep the borderline fan coming back for more.

As far as the teams go, there’s really no comparison. The Mets may not be favored to go all the way this year, but they’ve got a far better club than the Giants. Santana had a rare off day yesterday, but his team backed him with the kind of run support absent from anything that San Francisco typically puts on the board for their marquee starter, Tim Lincecum. Lincecum is the sole reason for my tepid return to Giants fandom. At five foot ten and a buck seventy-five, this goofy looking kid with the Van Helsing haircut led the league in K’s last year and handily surpassed Santana in Cy Young voting. In this age of the juiced-up likes of Bonds at the plate and Clemens on the mound, there’s something refreshing about a guy with a two-seam fastball in the high nineties who resembles your buddy’s goofy kid brother. After dropping the first three games of this four game series, it’s about all I’m hanging on to.

Papa Don’t Take No Mess

no deceit

Pizza .. how did you know?
- Jeannie Berlin to Charles Grodin in “The Heartbreak Kid”

So I’m kicking it with a few friends in New York a month or two back, and one of them mentions that he’s a huge Charles Grodin fan. “The Heartbreak Kid,” I say immediately and without hesitation, and am overcome with horror when he returns a less than completely knowing look. “What’s that ?” the guy asks. “Is he in it ?” I’m not one to carelessly pass judgment, but claiming to be a huge Charles Grodin fan without having seen The Heartbreak Kid is a little like heading the Charelton Heston Fan Club without having ever gotten around to Ben-Hur. It’s akin to leaving Barney Fife off the ballot in the Single Bullet Hall of Fame. It’s along the lines of writing The Definitive History of Center Field without making mention of Willie Mays. I could go on ..

I assure the guy that Grodin’s in it, and pull out my copy with the standard disclaimer about its rightful place in film history. I mention that watching the remake with Ben Stiller will cause one to immediately turn to stone. I quote a few memorable lines from the movie.  (OK .. I do about ten minutes word for word before both of them start to look really uncomfortable ..) He thanks me and takes the DVD, assuring me that they’ll get around to it soon. Cut to three weeks later. I’m over at this couple’s house and notice the movie on their shelf. I ask them if they’ve watched it and he says yes, but there’s hesitation in his voice. “We thought it was good,” he says .. and then he trails off.  She comes in from the kitchen to finish his thought. “It’s just that ..” she begins, and then stops. I insist that she go on. “Well,” she continues, “the whole time we were watching we couldn’t get it out of our heads - this is Rick’s favorite movie.”

I’m not certain that The Heartbreak Kid is my favorite movie of all time - but it’s certainly up there. It’s definitely my favorite unsung movie of all time, and I do make a point of recommending it to the uninitiated. But it’s rarely what they expect, and despite its comedy tag can be an uncomfortable viewing experience, particularly for couples. On the surface, it’s a film about a Jewish guy who decides he should be married and rushes in to wedlock with an egg salad loving young woman. Then, on their honeymoon in Miami Beach, he runs in to a shiksa goddess (played by the stunning Cybil Shepard in the prime of her Last Picture Show beauty) and decides that he has to get out of the marriage. Except that’s not what it’s about. I won’t attempt to nail it here, but Roger Ebert was kind of on track when he said it’s about “how we do violence to each other with our egos.” But that doesn’t cover it either. Personally, the film has served use for me as a select, individual barometer. If someone likes it, chances are we’ll get along. If they really get it, the possibilities are even stronger. I used to be a huge David Letterman fan, but have grown tired of him in recent years. My one thread of hope for the guy, however, is a comment he makes every time he has Charles Grodin on his show. “You know what’s a great film that you did ?” Letterman will ask, as Grodin looks on with beleaguered expectation. “The Heartbreak Kid .”

My parents got back from a cruise recently and my father was commenting on the relationships between the various married couples, whom they’ve known for over forty years.  For some reason, this made me reflect on the above mentioned Heartbreak Kid remake with Ben Stiller. There is still one slim hope for laying this abomination to rest and getting the collective bad taste out of the mouths of those who actually sat through it. (I, admittedly, wasn’t one. Suffering through a few torturous clips was enough to convince me to stay away.) Somebody should scrape together the funds to do a genuine follow-up to the original film. Thirty-seven years have passed, but the principal actors - Grodin, Shepard, Jeannie Berlin - are all still alive, as is director Elaine May.  It would likely disappoint,  but there’s sublime potential for riveting continuity. If by some miracle they hit the ball out of the park, it would be the greatest comeback since Mickey Rourke’s return last year in The Wrestler. With all the crap they’re throwing money at these days, I’d say it’s definitely worth the chance.

420-Friendly; Must Be in to Knives

So how about that Craigslist Killer, to borrow a line prefacing many a comedy bit these days. I’ve always maintained that no good can come from Craigslist, outside of the narrow context of needing a piece of large furniture removed from your apartment. Even then it’s a roll of the dice. Craigslist Killer - this is what things have come to. It isn’t the most formidable of tags when stacked up against the Hillside Stranglers and Night Stalkers of yesteryear. No doubt we’re in for a whole slew of copycats now - Twitter Slashers, Facebook Flashers and the like. I still aspire to a modest future as the Yelp Creep, but these things don’t just land in your lap.

They arrested a young medical student in the case, and are revealing a fair amount of evidence to the public. His fiancee remains in his corner, maintaining that they’ve got the wrong guy. Things don’t look good, but if you’re going to cling to evaporating hope, the Boston P.D. corruption card isn’t a bad place to turn. These subtle Internet influences continue to permeate the culture at a persistent pace, despite the lack of any full understanding of their pervasive effect. The Craigslist Killer suspect and his fiancee already had an online wedding announcement posted, and it’s generated more traffic than they ever could have anticipated. Popular consensus is that there will be a lot of returns at Crate and Barrel.

The other apparent certainty with any murder suspect under thirty these days is that he’ll have a Facebook page or similar social networking space. This was the case with another rather lurid Craigslist murder in Brooklyn last month. A local newsman, 47, posted an ad for an anonymous encounter, requesting that he be “smothered” and - surprise, surprise - ran in to a bad seed and sixteen year-old knife enthusiast from Queens. Turned out to be the worst sixty bucks the guy ever spent. After pre-gaming with vodka and cocaine at the older man’s home, things got ugly and the kid went Benihana on him. He was apprehended shorty after and photos from his MySpace page emerged revealing a lad who took particular pride in his knife collection and who was unable to pose for a picture without flashing the Sign of the Beast. Besides the obviously disturbing factual elements of this case, it also represents a colossal leap from good judgement. Nobody’s “asking” to get slashed and stabbed over fifty times, but there are certain actions likely to place one in the high risk category. It’s the classic definition of a knuckle-headed move, to put it mildly.

But perhaps this is increasing evidence of the nature of our web-dependent times. It isn’t that people didn’t make foolish moves in the past; it was just a little more difficult to set things in motion. A mere online click is all that’s necessary to come face to face with what’s out there and until some genius invents an “undo button,” it would seem the party’s just getting started.

Triples and Tunes

Exile On Johnny Ryall Street

Baseball and music - two things without which my life would be much emptier.

We had Giants season tickets when I was a kid back in ‘78 and I talked my dad in to re-upping the deal in ‘86 when I started driving our company delivery truck. The G-Men had lost an impressive one hundred games over the ‘85 season, so it was  prime time to scout out good seats. That they were still playing in the much maligned Candlestick Park didn’t hurt matters either, and we picked out a prime spot just a few rows behind the first base dugout. One season later they were in the playoffs and by 2000 had moved to impressive new digs at Pac Bell Park - later to become SBC and AT&T Park, respectively. It was a good time to invest in local baseball.

I likely went to seventy of the eighty-one home games in 1986 - a feat that now seems foreign and unapproachable. It isn’t that I’ve completely lost interest, just that I tend to run hot and cold now. Any real fan will tell you that this approach is lacking, and that baseball needs to be followed daily to be fully appreciated. Its charm resides in its details: the day to day of who’s ebbing and peaking, the clubhouse politics, the pitcher who finally has his split-finger fastball working. While scanning daily box scores and following radio and television broadcasts will suffice, there is no substitute for going out to the ballpark. In 1986 (and ‘87) I was a real fan, and I can say this with neither apology nor qualification.  I didn’t care for most of the yahoos who sat in our particular box. For whatever reason, the game also seems to attract its fair share of blowhards - folks who enjoy hearing themselves talk about that which they don’t fully understand. It’s been my observation that your more knowledgeable fan will tend to hold his tongue before making a point, and save his breath for cheering or offering support for his team on the field.

It took about three or four games before I finally spoke to the woman who sat next to us that first season, but she turned out to be the Real Deal. Barbara was a fiftyish, unmarried San Francisco veterinarian who took her time sizing me up before deciding I passed muster. Something about my quiet demeanor and occasional, pointedly cynical observations resonated with her. We formed an unspoken bond, both respecting the other’s preference to keep the bullshit to a minimum. We shared a similar disdain for specific regulars, one boiler-sporting middle aged loudmouth in particular, who had the audacity to appear daily in a full Giants uniform (with batting helmet) and wear his own name above Willie Mays’ number 24. The few conversations we had those first two seasons stayed with me, and I remember one remark in particular that she made during an exceptionally riveting playoff game in ‘87.  It was during a quiet moment in the middle of a pitching change, and we hadn’t said a word up until then. “I have a friend,” she began, leaning toward me “who says he doesn’t get baseball. It isn’t that he’s against sports - he follows the 49ers and the Warriors with interest. But he says baseball moves too slowly and he doesn’t see the appeal.” She paused for a moment, looking out at the expanse of green field before making her point. “I feel sorry for him.”

My dad gets baseball, and as a result so do I. But he doesn’t get music, and any inclination I have in this area didn’t come from him. It required my mother’s influence. I find that the two share remarkable similarities (baseball and music that is; not my mother and father.) As with baseball, I run hot and cold with music . There are times when it keeps me completely transfixed and paying attention to the smallest detail. Others it’s just so much chatter in the background. As with the game, music invites obscure pairing and comparison. I found myself indulging in this recently with two favored albums - the Rolling Stones’ 1972 Exile On Main Street and the Beastie Boys’ 1989 Paul’s Boutique. While these proclamations are endlessly debatable, I’d put the two high on my top twenty list for the past four decades. Both were follow-ups to commercially successful work: the Stones’ Sticky Fingers and the B-Boys’ debut, Licensed To Ill.  Both were departures in style and influence, though in the Stones’ case it was a jump and the Beasties’ more a leap. Both were recorded, in many senses, in exile. The Stones had abandoned England and heavy British taxation for Nice, France.  The Beasties made what was arguably the more radical of the two moves - choosing to flee NYC and Brooklyn to hide out and regroup in Los Angeles. This sense of unbridled creativity by way of displacement - and even desperation - comes through on both albums. It resides in music and lyrics, whether it’s Jagger scraping “the shit right off” his shoes or the Beasties channeling James Brown and Jack Abbott: “Godfather of Soul In the Belly of the Beast / smoking that dust at St. Anthony’s Feast.”

“Exile” is a double album, but “Paul’s Boutique” might as well be, as it’s so densely packed with references, sampling and mad imagination. Like the ‘87 Giants, it would be impossible to re-create either.