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Max Wade Realty

I was reading an article in San Francisco Magazine on Max Wade last night, the Marin County teenager and criminal mastermind who allegedly attempted a ninja-style drive-by shooting and stealthily lifted buffoon Food Network star Guy Fieri’s banana-tinted Lamborghini from an exotic autos dealership. I’ve written about Max before, noting that we both attended Redwood High and that I’d prefer to sit at his table at an alumni dinner than that of our excessively needy fellow alum Robin Williams. Apparently, being imprisoned hasn’t caused Max to lose a step. He’s re-parted his hair and adopted a trimmed mustachioed look ala his Myspace-proclaimed hero Pablo Escobar and been the suspected center of an early morning jail-break attempt that drew forty deputies and law officers to the scene. (Admittedly they don’t have a hell of a lot going on in Marin County.) I’d never go on record endorsing attempted murder, if in fact this is what the kid was up to, but I stand by my initial proclamation of mixed admiration for the lad. Now residing squarely in that vast middle ground between youth and old age I frequently find myself subject to three a.m. bouts of quiet desperation, questioning my life to this point and comparing my lot to those with whom I grew up and around. I’ve read some essays on Max where the authors speculate on the unrealized potential of such a youthful and apparently bright mind choosing to focus on a life of crime. That may be but I can’t imagine the kid in his forties, all out of Ambien and struggling to get back to sleep while anxiously thinking “I should have taken more chances ..”

So much of “proper” upbringing focuses on laying the groundwork for the future. We’re taught to plan carefully so that when we get there, there are minimal surprises. This advice is typically bestowed by those same late-night, quietly desperate adults reviewing their own road turns and lamenting having not chosen differently. What they don’t tell you is that all the careful planning in the world won’t quell your angst, whether you’re doing the life-recounting from your hilltop Tiburon bedroom or your jail cell. As far as parental or parental-like advice goes, Clint Eastwood covered it succinctly with six words in the penultimate scene of Unforgiven – “We all have it coming, kid.”

So Max Wade’s in jail, Guy Fieri is suffering historically scathing high profile reviews for his new Times Square eatery, and I’m posting lightly-read musings about both of them from Brooklyn. It isn’t a bad place from which to post lightly-read musings, though. Where to live is one of the central questions in life, assuming you don’t find yourself jailed at seventeen. No matter where you choose there will be plenty of people willing to weigh in with their opinion on whether it’s paradise or a hell hole. Wherever you reside you’ll find people bent on getting out. Many move on elsewhere and become equally obsessed with the same determination. Some eventually comprehend that the disfavored real estate in question resides somewhere between their east and west ears. I’ve been looking at New York real estate for a while now and can only say confidently that it’s expensive. Beyond this I’d assert that it’s a fine place to live and you’ll never run short of realty agents backing this sentiment or fellow New Yorkers telling you what a hell hole it is. If Max Wade had another phone call coming he’d probably use it to tell me take more chances.

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  1. coleman wrote:

    Nice work, Rick.
    Coleman ‘Stuck between my East & West Ears” Miller

    Take more chances!

    Wednesday, February 27, 2013 at 3:42 pm | Permalink
  2. admin wrote:

    Jay Gatsby and I are definitely more West Ear sorts. The parties are better ..

    Wednesday, February 27, 2013 at 6:18 pm | Permalink
  3. LC wrote:

    Wow. Another stupid opinion of a spoiled rich kid. What if he had actually took the life of the two young people. You are a fuckin waste of space.
    Why so angsty? Your trust fund not large enough.

    Saturday, October 28, 2017 at 5:40 am | Permalink
  4. admin wrote:

    Thank you for reading, LC. Was meant tongue in cheek .. I think you meant “taken” the life, but yes, points well-made and astutely expressed. Best, W.O. Space.

    Saturday, October 28, 2017 at 4:40 pm | Permalink

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